Oh the joy of being a daughter, sister, wife and mother during the holidays

Oh how I do not look forward to this time of the year. I am one of those people that don't believe in Christmas until after Thanksgiving. Now that we live away from both my family and my in-laws I look forward less and less to the holiday season. I am almost to the point where I push getting ready for Halloween until the very last because I know once Halloween there is no putting off planning for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
I love Thanksgiving and Christmas. I just really hate all the stress that comes along with these two holidays for me. Why is it that two of the most family oriented Holiday have to happen just weeks apart? This year there is just shy of 4 weeks between the two.
Growing up we spent every single Thanksgiving and Christmas at my grandma's house until I was seventeen or eighteen. It kind of surprised me when a couple years ago I decided that we were staying home for Christmas. The biggest obstacle was alternating which family we were spending Christmas Eve, and morning with. I wonder if my parents ever wanted to just stay home for Christmas all those years that they packed up all of us kids and presents. I treasure the memories from those years so I am grateful they didn't.
So the other issue with this time of year. The guilt. I feel guilty not giving my kids the memories of spending Christmas our extended family. I know this is kind of silly, but it is the truth. I also know that we are making memories as well.
Even though I do have the guilt, I also know that I made the right decision for me. It has taken me a VERY LONG time to realize that I can do things differently. And as hard as it is, I have also learned that I can say no. There is only so much that I have to give and my 3 boys and husband deserve to have me at my best. Well the best that I can be at the moment anyway. I will be the first to say that I am far from perfect. Really far from being perfect.
I don't even know if this post makes any sense. As I am rereading it seems like I am rambling.
I just decided I am going to keep my eye set on the end of this year. There is only 42 days left. I can do 42 days. Once January is here I don't have to worry about Thanksgiving and Christmas for another 10 months! Oh how wonderful it sounds.