First Post

Life has been hard the last three weeks. My Aunt was diagnosed with cancer about the time my youngest son was born two years ago. At the time she was given three to six months to live. July 22, she passed away. It was a blessing. I was able to see here while I was in town the week before and knew at that time that it was close. I just didn't think that I would be getting the call less than a week after I had seen her. Already having a hard time with my Aunt's passing, I couldn't sleep the night before her funeral. At about midnight, my mom's sister called (my aunt that passed away was my dad's sister) to say that my Grandpa was not doing very good and they were taking him to the hospital. At the funeral the next day I could not stop crying. After the family dinner following the funeral I wanted my mom to call to find out how grandpa was doing. My sister Jen gave me a hard time for being "our little worrier". Mom made the call and we found out that grandpa was doing a lot better. Mom went up to be with them the next day and he was able to go home from the hospital the day after that. This was the day that I planned on going home so I stopped by to see them. He looked pretty good. I didn't want to stay too long. My three (almost four year old) and a two year old wear both grandma and grandpa out rather quickly.
My sister Jessie called me Saturday morning to let me know that Grandpa was back in the hospital and they didn't think that he would make it through the weekend. So I got me and the kids ready to go and made the two hour trip to see him in the hospital. When I got to the hospital they had him on forced oxygen, which is a lot different then just having him on oxygen. The forced oxygen mask has to have a complete seal otherwise the air would be forced out around the mask instead of down to the lungs. The force of the air made it so that he could not relax even though that was what he needed the most. I was very glad that his oxygen levels got up high enough that they were able to take that mask off of him and just have a nasal cannula on him. He was able to talk with Jessie and I for a good hour. I had to go home Saturday night. I don't think that I could have handled being there Sunday. I called my mom Sunday after visiting hours were done and she said that he was doing as good as could be expected. I told her that he couldn't die the next day because it was my anniversary. I knew she had no control over it and neither did he. And to be honest, I would rather see him at peace then to see him as restless as he was when I first got to the hospital on Saturday. Mom called me just before nine Monday morning to tell me that the hospital had called just after eight to tell them they needed to get up there because he wasn't doing very well. I was devastated. I had to get mortgages paid, but as soon as that was done we again made the trip. Mom called me about twelve forty-five to tell me that grandpa had passed away around eleven that morning. I hadn't even left my house in time to see him. However, Spencer dropped me off at my grandma's house and took the kids to his sister's. I spent the afternoon with my Mom, Jen, Grandma and Aunt Utahnna.
Spencer and I did go have dinner and it was healing to sit with my family. However, waiting all week for the funeral was hell.
Grandpa, you were a great man, truly the world's greatest grandpa. I love you and will miss you always!